“All gaslighters are liars. But are all liars also gaslighters? No. Sometimes, those of us with ADHD lie almost out of reflex.'
century, hysteria gripped the village of Salem as local misfits were systematically branded “witches” — a powerful label that accused a person of being a malicious actor under confusing and emotional circumstances. The characterization of the beautiful but scheming evil antagonist has persisted in popular culture; every Disney stepmother seems to prove this point. And while it’s easy to hate and fear Snow White’s nemesis, the fact is that real relationships rarely boil down to witches vs.
This is true for me. I have lied to people who matter to me. And at least one of those people has responded by calling me a gaslighter; the subtext of the accusation was this: “You lied to me and let that lie spin out of control instead of facing or revealing the truth for my sake. You intentionally chose to keep me ignorant of something that matters to me so that I would act in the way you wanted. You are selfish and now I don’t think I can trust or respect you and what you say.
This is terrifying for both the accuser and the accused if they actually, really care and aren’t intentionally gaslighting. If the accused believes they are telling the truth, the ‘gaslighter’ label can spark anger and resentment as they feel under attack and are forced to explain and adequately resolve chaos, insecurities, and confusion that may not be entirely their doing or of their understanding.
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