What self-care looks like for the sandwich generation (and it’s not what you think)
Woman sleeping. By Aimee Christian May 6 at 11:30 AM I had my children so late that when I went through early menopause three years after my second child was born, I realized I’d been pushing my luck waiting so long. Truthfully, I hadn’t felt ready to have kids a minute before I did. Now, though, while my kids’ peers have moms in their 30s, I am in the latter half of my 40s.
Aging is never pretty, and in my father’s case, it has been downright unkind. He is beset with one medical concern after another. He can no longer see well enough to read or go out alone. And because my mother won’t go anywhere without him, they stay home unless one of them has a doctor’s appointment. The lack of stimulation from sitting at home is making them depressed, confused and disinterested.
Self-care, my friends remind me. But what is that, anyway? Some days I am so overwhelmed that I want to eat takeout Chinese food while binge-watching Netflix from the couch. Social media posts from my peers are either wine memes or check-ins for spa weekends with massages, personal trainers and mojito-laced brunches. Self-care! the captions exclaim. Mommy needs to unwind! But I don’t know how to unwind; when I try, I unravel.
So I put our affairs in order. We’ve done an estate plan, accounting for every possible scenario. We each have a health-care proxy and we’ve assigned durable power of attorney. I increase my retirement account every year. We go to the doctor regularly, including well visits. We take our medicine and our vitamins. We exercise, we discuss, we plan.
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