What does it mean to nourish a family when dad can’t cook? Reflections on what 'dad food' is and what it isn’t
Pizza, pizza, pizza … Photo-Illustration: Megan Paetzhold The surfeit of default Father’s Day gifts — sous vide machines, marinades, and novelty aprons, burger kits, hot sauces, and grill gadgets — offers a not-so-subtle directive: A father is he who puts food on his family’s table. This is what it means to be a dad, and thus, fatherhood and food are forever entwined.
One of the first fights my wife and I had after our eldest son was born in 2012 was maybe a week after she had given birth and I insisted we have dinner at Sel de Mer, a mediocre and now-closed French restaurant around the corner from our house in Brooklyn. She, of course, didn’t want to go. The ferocity with which I insisted still shakes me with shame, eight years later.
I, who had lived and eaten through the Great Neapolitan Pizza Revolution of 2009, yearned for the bubbles and char of Una Pizza Napoletana and bought an outdoor pizza oven. With no yard, I used it indoors in my new apartment, propping the propane tank upon the stove. But I never mastered the pizzaiola’s effortless flick of her peel. The inchoate dough was simply shoved into the fire. Flames flared. The smoke detector blared and my children ran, justifiably terrified, into their rooms.
So there I sat, gazing upon my cheap kitchen cabinets — the same style I’ve had since I moved to New York in 1999. They are reminders that all the money I spent eating out could have bought a house with a yard for the kids and an island in the kitchen and a fancy wooden salad bowl with a comically large spork. I think of the kitchens of my friends and professional colleagues: old fireplaces turned into rotisseries, vast prep areas at weekend homes upstate. Nice cabinets.
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