'The goal is to stay close with your kids, not push them away by being a jerk to their partner.'
I was sitting on the beach one day with my ex-mother-in-law, my sister-in-law, and all of our kids. I could barely keep up with the conversation because my three toddlers were running around and splashing in the water. I told them I needed a break and to stay out of the water for a bit so I could visit and be engaged in the conversation.
This was my mother-in-law’s way. She made passive-aggressive comments until I couldn’t keep quiet, then, when I spoke up, she acted flustered, insisted she meant no harm, and cried. There was the time I struggled with nursing and she came to visit. As she sat on the sofa waiting to be served her dinner — a dinner she never got, because I wasn’t about to cook for her two days after giving birth — she said: “What’s the problem? Eating and sleeping was never an issue with me and my kids.”
My then-husband was often caught in the middle. I wanted him to put an end to it and tell her to knock it off, which wasn’t something he could do because he felt “really bad about talking to his mother that way.” But ignoring her comments wasn’t something I could do, and that combination
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