Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
My husband and I have a vacation house, and we enjoy inviting friends and family to stay there throughout the summer and early fall. Our guests, unfailingly polite, often want to “help” after I prepare a meal, which we do often because I love to cook and the farmers markets are such a delight of abundance.
Now, I’ve never been one to value my stuff over my friends -- if a friend spills an entire glass of red wine on the rug, no big deal. But time and again, I say to my friends, “The only help I want is for you to come sit and keep me company while I clean up.” Everyone from plumbers and painters to a lawyer who was representing me comments on the fact that I live alone in a house: “I don’t see why you need a house.” “Do you have kids?” “Don’t you have any pets?” These are accompanied by enough head-shaking and eye-rolling to rival a Marx Brothers movie.A painter came into my garage and saw my decade-old, run-of-the-mill sedan and said, “Whoa, nice car,” sarcastically.
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