Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
I am privileged to receive free air travel benefits from my husband’s job as an airline pilot. My family flies on standby status, so we are usually among the last passengers to board the plane. Because of this, I am often separated from my 10-year-old. This is fine with us, as my son is an experienced traveler and is a quiet, self-sufficient and polite passenger.
However, if I am assigned a poor seat, I usually thank the person, but decline. I do not want a paying passenger to have to take my bad seat. Then again, perhaps the other passenger does not want to sit next to my child, meaning I should accept regardless. Of course, people in such circumstances ought to bond and look out for one another; it’s just that the stories one hears tend to suggest the opposite. But here you are, asking how to be most considerate of those who are being considerate of you. Thank you.
I am now receiving invitations to dinner. Some I’ll gladly accept, but there are others I really don’t want to. How do I politely decline the invitations I don’t want without hurting people’s feelings?Although you do not need an excuse as long as you express regrets and thanks, Miss Manners notices that you have one easily available. If you say “I’m not going out much,” people should understand that this refers to the way you are handling your grief.
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