The breathing and feeding tubes, the suctioning, the medications — they had kept a brain-injured woman alive. Depending on your point of view, they either prolonged her life or prolonged her death.
allows Steve to make this decision on behalf of his wife.I first met Steve in 2014, while working on an investigative series about people kept on life support. Over the next five years, I spent hours interviewing him in person or on the phone. Often, I sent him questions by email.“I wanted to write about the first time you saw her on the beach in Mexico,” I once emailed him. Remembering who Rafaela was before the accident was painful to Steve. He almost always responded late in the evening.
Cathy felt that she’d already lost her daughter-in-law, Rafaela, and she couldn’t bear to lose Steve too. If he was going to jump, so would she. Rafaela did not have an advance directive — a document stating her wishes should she become medically incapacitated. OnlySteve was certain that Rafaela was aware, that she just had no way to tell anyone. During his visits, he spoke to her, told her he loved her, played her favorite CDs, rubbed lotion on her arms and placed the bracelets she once made on her wrists.
“There’s probably some very sophisticated ways of determining if a mute person who can’t move is blind, but it was not available to us,” he said. Steve’s schedule focused around work and visiting Rafaela. “[I’d] go home and do the same thing every day,” he said.Steve told her that this was his life.
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