“Is there a way to train my brain to stop wanting to buy things after years and years of feeling like I need them? Will I ever be able to save money, or am I destined to continue to throw it away on disposable goods?”
I’ve made a low six-figure salary for several years, but I’ve got nothing to show for it. I have barely any savings. I don’t own a house . I did manage to max out my 401 last year, but I still have way too little in it. My problem is that I can’t stop spending. I’ve developed a bad habit of signing up for zero-interest periods on my credit cards and then using them until I have to draw from my savings to pay them off before the interest kicks in again.
Of course, this process will be complicated, and it will take time. There’s no shortcut to overhauling long-term habits, and I don’t want to minimize the deeply worn grooves that shopping has carved into your psyche. Consider your brain chemistry: Research has shown that buying new things triggers a hit of dopamine, a neurotransmitter that cheers you up. From a scientific perspective, popping into J.Crew when you’re in the dumps makes perfect sense, because it’ll make you feel better.
All this business about neurotransmitters might make you feel even more out of control than you already do. But it’s your brain, in your head, and while you can’t control the way it functions, you can steer it toward decisions that make you happier and feel more stable. There’s no single answer here, as you probably suspect. You can’t just stop shopping, cold turkey — it’s a major coping mechanism in your life. Instead, you need to find new ways meet your needs. “When you learn certain self-regulating behaviors in childhood, like overspending or overeating, it can be very difficult to wean yourself off of them,” says Angela Wurtzel, a psychotherapist who specializes in compulsive shopping. “You think, ‘Oh, I’ll just follow this plan. I should be able to budget.
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