'I started to imagine my life without children – by giving up on my quest to find a decent partner, it meant also potentially giving up on being a parent – but it’s not something I wanted. Instead, I became a solo IVF mum.' | ✍️ Stacy Thomson
I’d been using apps for about eight years and I was no longer finding it ‘fun’ when it came to trying to find a partner.I’d always wanted to be a mum, but at 41 – I knew that time was against me.
The men I matched with were more interested in letting me know that they were just ‘looking for a good time’, than finding out what I was looking for. They would even announce itThe final straw was when I met someone who, on the surface, was great – until I found out he was a compulsive liar. Despite telling me he was divorced, I found out, but it was evident that my options were slowly diminishing.
I started to imagine my life without children – by giving up on my quest to find a decent partner, it meant also potentially giving up on being a parent – but it’s not something I wanted.I’d always joked about having a child on my own if I hadn’t met someone by my age – but I never thought it would actually happen to me.I decided to have some initial hormone blood tests to see where I stood with regards to mymaybe, I’d missed the boat.
I started engaging with online solo IVF forums and was told about an additional test – an anti-mullerian hormone test that provides an insight into your egg supply. I wanted to explore all of my options before making any rash decisions.with the news that my ovaries were literally dying. My AMP indicated that I had a poor ovarian reserve, which while consistent with my age, could mean lower chances of conceiving.
Having discovered I had very little time left, I made the decision to have solo IVF. Becoming a parentthe feelings of someone that didn’t exist yet – asking myself:But while having all of these existential thoughts – the reality was that, if I was to wait any longer, I may miss out on having children altogether.I don’t think I gave myself enough time to talk myself out of it, or to be scared. I knew I was capable of being a great mum – I just would have preferred a partner, too.
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