Advice: Partner proves a calm demeanor isn’t always nice
He is calm and measured — I’ve only heard him raise his voice twice in three years; if anything, he pulls out heavy sarcasm to point how absurd something is.
His ex won’t speak to me and we’ve had dozens of conversations about how uncomfortable I am. He tells me it is my job to work it out with his EX. More yelling.This isn’t the person I want to be. But growing up in a physically abusive family where punches and plates were thrown in addition to words, I learned some very bad habits.So did your partner. Wow. Sarcasm and gaslighting are unhealthy, too, not just yelling.
Think of emotions as layers: Imagine the innermost layer as where the feelings are, and the outermost as the way those feelings are expressed. So, for example, you feel upset and then yell .
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