Here’s how to navigate this sensitive situation.
1. “I noticed some marks on your arm, and I’m worried because I care about you. Are you hurting yourself?”
You may be nervous to ask specifically if they’re hurting themselves. You can try a more open-ended question to see if they volunteer the information, like “What’s going on?” Meghan S., 29, who self-harmed for about two years while she was in college, tells SELF that “it was actually kind of a relief” when a close friend asked if she was hurting herself. “I think part of me wanted someone to ask if I was OK,” she says.“You can validate that the pain they’re feeling is real without validating the [self-harm] itself,” Zendegui says.
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