Why so many of us are trapped in “back-burner relationships” – and how to get out

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Why so many of us are trapped in “back-burner relationships” – and how to get out
France Dernières Nouvelles,France Actualités
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Do you have an ex who pops up every few months like clockwork?

of 397 adults in long-term relationships found that at least 62% were keeping someone on the back-burner, despite 92% of participants describing their relationship as exclusive.

According to Dr Zuckerman, we often keep back-burner relationships for one of two reasons, and sometimes both. Back-burner relationships are maintained because they require less attention and daily maintenance, Zuckerman continues. “They exist without an expectation that the relationship must go somewhere or it falls apart. “It is very much based on an unspecified future – “what ifs” and “maybe one days” so there is little pressure on both parties to make it “work” in the present.

Dr Zuckerman stresses that there is a significant difference between back-burner relationships and affairs. “The idea is that back-burner relationships are not active ongoing intimate relationships. They are formed based on the basis of “maybe one day, you never know”, whereas an affair or going outside the relationship is an active intimate relationship, typically because one person is unhappy and/or wants to leave the relationship.

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