Why People with Borderline Personality Pick Poor Partners

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Why People with Borderline Personality Pick Poor Partners
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Why people with borderline personality disorder often have trouble finding mates who treat them fairly—and how to change that

are known to be fraught with difficulty, due at least in part to the tendency these individuals have to pick the wrong partners. Perhaps you have a friend who has BPD and you’ve gotten used to helping her through more than her share of bitter endings. You wish that you could help her avoid getting into these difficulties in the first place so that she could see the warning signs in a potential partner before the relationship heads toward its inevitable downhill path.

Jeung et al. propose further that, in general, people with BPD are highly sensitive to the possibility of being excluded in social situations. They may be willing to accept inequity if they feel this will help keep them included within the group. Perhaps you’ve noticed your friend with BPD being willing to pay more than her share of the tab. She's willing to forgo equitable treatment so that she'll keep being invited to the group's get-togethers.

Returning to the study’s hypotheses, the main point of the game was to determine whether participants with BPD would be more likely to prefer dyads vs. triad , and whether they would be more generous in their offers to their interaction partners than would the comparison healthy controls. Now that you’ve read the complexities of this experimental set-up, ask yourself how you would behave in a similar situation. Would you be likely to try to maximize rewards for the group or would you be out for yourself? Who would you rather be partnered with if this person was making decisions for you?

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