'Should single people struggling to find a partner utilize their friends and family more?' asks DatingDarwin
As its nickname suggests, the Mexican Tetra is a species of blind fish. Well, that’s not entirely accurate. Some are blind and others aren’t. The difference? Those who cannot see have lived in caves for many generations. Living a comfortable existence in total darkness, these fish find food and reproduce quite happily using an elaborate system of sensors on their scales that can detect even the smallest changes in the water around them.
I argue that we too have tools that were once a highly sharpened set of adaptations designed to help us reproduce and that have become less “sharp” over the decades because we haven’t used them. Specifically, tools for helping us to attract and choose partners. And this “help” might be considered our own cave. A situation where the need for our mate choice tools to be razor-sharp was lessened. Unnoticed by evolution, they could become blunter with little-to-no consequence. Until now.The change in mating culture in the Western world means that men and women seek mates independently, perhaps hoping for parental approval of the chosen boyfriend or girlfriend after the fact.
Instead of feeling like you need to meet someone and then bring them home to play “meet the parents,” try getting their input a bit earlier on. When a friend recommends setting you up with someone that they know, consider giving it a try. Your loved ones know a lot about you and might have a better sense of your compatibility with someone than a dating website algorithm. The mating marketplace isn’t somewhere you have to navigate alone.
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