As a queer polygamous woman, jayanotes has known for a while that the institution of marriage was not for her. Then why can't she let go of her fantasy of the 'perfect' wedding and partner? UntyingTheKnot CelebrateYou NewIssue
, the astrologer assured her that I would soon marry an engineer. To this day, I have never had even a lover who was an engineer, so that’s that.
A secret that I was unable to keep was when, at the ripe age of 35, I was attracted to a woman for the first time in my life. It was the days of landlines, and what my mother heard on the phone extension did not leave much to the imagination. . I heard words familiar to us in the queer community…“It’s all my fault. I must have done something in my past lives to deserve this. This is a disease….
My opposition to the institution of marriage continued, fuelled by newer reasons that were related to being in a same-sex relationship. When my partner and I tried to take out a joint loan for a home, we were told, “Spouses and blood relations only”. Ten years down the line, after we broke up, began the emotional and financial mess of trying to divide up the home. It was officially in my name, but she had continuously contributed to the repayment of the loan.
It was only when I joined the Bondage, Domination, and Sadomasochism community, at the ripe age of 47, that I reconciled to the fact that I had no choice. How could I even try to be monogamous when I was fast discovering even more erotic and emotional dimensions to myself. Mission impossible! Mercifully, I am now surrounded by people who are involved with more than one person, and each relationship has a different dynamic.
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