How to stop blaming yourself for past mistakes and gain the self-acceptance you've always craved
There are times when all of us can be really hard on ourselves: “I could have done more,have done more,” or “I ought to have done something different,” or “ . . . done it differently.” And therapists typically refer to such adverse self-evaluation as a person’s being plagued by a harshMoreover, if you reflect on it, you’ll realize that such a negative voice emanating from deep within seriously interferes with your ability to talk to yourself with compassion.
But it cannot be overemphasized that developing greater compassion for yourself has nothing to do with disavowing responsibility for earlier misdeeds. Rather, it’s about grasping that given your irresistible impulses or self-defensive mechanisms at the time, your past offenses were more or less unavoidable.
Here are the words that, once fully understood and sincerely expressed to yourself, can immediately move you to a place of greater self-compassion:Obviously, this assertion isn’t to be taken literally, as confined to veterans who have endured substantialall of us, who in diverse ways have been psychologically wounded, primarily because of deficiencies in our upbringing. It’s as though, despite whatever psychological harm we were subject to, we can still function but—again, figuratively speaking—we walk with a limp, propelling ourselves forward despite limiting handicaps.
The point I wish to make here is that regardless of whatever inner constraints you may have, or somehowyou have, that’s no good reason to keep yourself from developing a compassionate attitude toward yourself. Unreserved self-acceptance, which I’ve discussed in many posts before (e.
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