There are so many reasons to say “I don’t.”
? A girl can dream. Eventually, I hit puberty and very swiftly realized that I wouldn’t be wearing a dress and I certainly wouldn’t be getting married any time soon as a gay boy in a world where marriage, for me and mine, was illegal.
When my partner and I got together, it was still a year before same-sex marriage was legalized in the UK, and gays everywhere began donning white suits and doing flash mobs to Lady Gaga songs to celebrate their nuptials. And really, whilewas a sign of turning tides from exclusion to inclusion, we still felt wary. Because when your life is spent swimming against the tide, you learn never to trust a calm sea.
Maybe we’ll get there. After all, the only constant in the history of marriage is change; change to include new conceptions of who is recognized as “marriage material.” It started with marriage being allowed across classes, then across ethnicities, then across borders, then it didn’t change for ages until marriage equality was passed. And while I personally might not have cared, for many, exclusion from the institution of marriage has had a very real impact.
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