What is Raquel doing?
It breaks my entire heart to say this, but Katie Maloney Schwartz Maloney is right about everything. Now, let’s not be outlandish. Katie has been wrong more than she’s been right, and she’s undoubtedly been mean more than she’s ever been anything in her life. Still, every single action she took in tonight’s episode was entirely justified and there was absolutely nothing wrong with her.
Sandoval sits Ariana down on the couch and tells her that he doesn’t like when she belittles him in front of people and always finds him annoying. He says she has only agreed with him less than five times in their entire relationship. I will repeat a previous point that I made: he could stop being wrong about everything. When Ariana says she wants more quality time, she says she wants to make dinner, go for a walk around the neighborhood, watchtogether.
Sandoval starts by telling us that his relationship with Ariana is the best it’s ever been , which is richer than the entire McDuck family tree. Then Raquel pulls Ariana aside and asks what is up with her and Sandoval. Okay, that is just evil, and it seems like she is testing the waters here, trying to see if things between them are as rocky as Sandoval pointed out. In Raquel’s defense , this might have been producer-driven.
While Tom Schwartz is in a booth rubbing lemons on his armpits because he stinks and Lala is literally singing, “All that I want is another baby,” Raquel thinks it’s a good idea to go up to Katie, her mom, and all of her gays while they’re talking about eating ass. She then tells Katie that a gossip blog report about her and Schwartz making out all night at The Bayou was false. This, folks, is why you don’t believe Deux Moi.
As Raquel continues doubling down, Ariana starts sobbing to Lisa because she’s again stuck between her friend Raquel, her boyfriend Sandoval, and her business partner Katie. Ariana has always been the one person in the group who doesn’t have beef with anyone, and this is how she is repaid, crying on Lisa Vanderpump’s shoulder wearing a blouse that is too adorable for words. And she’sRaquel. She’s defending the woman who betrayed her. I just can’t. I can’t even look anymore. Just kidding.
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