You might know your attachment style, but do you know your argument style?
at your partner but it doesn't necessarily tell them what you want or need from them. And because it's accusatory and the accusations are about your partner's actions, it leaves them open to arguing back, which is when things can get heated. Because of this, attacking isn’t always the best way to resolve conflict.This comes out in all scenarios, but particularly if you are on the receiving end of an attacking argument.
Roberts adds another iteration of withdrawing: when someone deliberately sits on the fence and remains passive."They may still argue back but they will try and argue to keep the peace," Roberts says. This can mean agreeing with whatever you say and never attempting to get their own point across, which can add irritation to an argument.
This is particularly useful for relationships if you can identify the argument style of your partner, Blackman says."While you will still get into arguments, you will both have ways of being able to dial down the emotions more quickly and be able to focus on the problem at hand," Blackman says.
Ultimately, the goal in an argument is to feel heard and understood. Stepping away from your instinctive argument response can create that space where you can feel heard and, crucially, as well, which will mean less time spent arguing and stewing, and more time spent enjoying each other’s company.
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