“They’re trapped in the house, cooped up, and haven’t got anyone to let their frustrations out on.'
LGBT parents are suffering homophobic and transphobic abuse from their own children during the lockdown, a charity has revealed — while young LGBT people are being thrown out onto the street by parents who discover their child’s sexuality or gender identity.
The charities said the threats posed by being shut in can be distinct from the general population, often detonating the intolerance that might normally lie dormant. As a result, LGBT people are now at escalated risk of violence, hate crimes, grooming, and in particular, homelessness, they warned. Some try other means to escape hatred within the home: by going back in the closet, playing down their gender identity or sexuality, or, more literally, locking themselves in their bedrooms 24/7.
Some of the violence was always there; but so too were the escape routes. Now services are witnessing a new phenomenon triggered by lockdown: sex work to temporarily escape. Normally, said East, when young LGBT people are in hostile families, “they will go and stay with their friends a couple of nights a week, or go to some queer spaces to break it up”. Now, with family members there all the time, the pressure is unmanageable.
Other LGBT young people are trying to avoid their families altogether, by spending the whole time in their bedroom, because if they don’t they’re assaulted, physically or verbally. “There’s a lot of emotional abuse — being told you’re worth nothing,” said East.“One of the clients on our programme is a victim of stalking,” said Rachel Ellis, a domestic abuse officer from the LGBT Foundation.
“Even this week I’ve had two young girls that have had all their belongings packed up in black bin liners and left outside,” he said. The parents of one of them gave clear, final directions to their lesbian daughter: “Do not contact us. You’re dead to us.” This isn’t his rough interpretation of events, said East. “That’s a quote directly from one of our young people.”
But because of the lockdown, whereas normally he would visit them in their temporary accommodation, “I can’t physically go to these places at the moment.” Even building trust with new service users is harder, he said, as none of it can be done in person. For the first time, she said, they have a waiting list, due to “more and more complex cases coming through: a crossover of mental health issues, domestic abuse and substance misuse — or the ‘toxic trio’ as we call it.”
Those on the receiving end of this are reevaluating everything they’ve done as parents. “One of my clients is unsure if she’s done a bad job raising them — she’s worried that she’s let herself down, or she’s let them down,” said Ellis. SJ Wyatt — who is bisexual, nonbinary and uses they/their/them pronouns — had to move back with their elderly father, nearly a hundred miles away, because of the abuse they suffered from a woman in their housing co-op in London.
But the next day, the abuse resumed. “When I was in the kitchen she said, ‘Why did you call the police? Who the hell are you?’ She said, ‘Snitches get stitches’ and, ‘You’re going to regret what you did.’ And then came up, leant over me and said, ‘Just kill yourself, everyone hates you.’ This went on for about half an hour. I was really, really shaking by then. I called the police again.”
France Dernières Nouvelles, France Actualités
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