Have you stopped to evaluate how you communicate with others recently?
, BSW, MSW, RSW, a therapist from Alberta, Canada, who shared a short but important video on TikTok posing a question to consider:"Are you listening, or are you waiting to talk?"
This question is so simple, yet as soon as she posed it, I remember taking a few moments to really sit with myself. It was like I was reliving all of my conversations from that past day or critical encounters I'd had this year. Was I truly listening? I wasn't sure, so I made it my goal to keep this question in mind during one-on-one and group time with others.
I will throw myself under the bus here for the sake of journalism: Saunders's inquiry made me realize that I tend to half-listen in many conversations throughout my day. I am listening, but I'm also thinking about what I want to say — not in every situation, though in more situations than I'd normally like to admit. I'm eager to add my opinion to the mix to help people and relate to them; I have good intentions.
So, I tried. I tried to pause, be mindful of my urges to speak, stifle those urges, and fully listen. I won't say that I was perfect at this practice by any means — I think everyone can learn a thing or two about embracing patience and stepping into a state of listening in order to learn. However, keeping this question from Saunders top of mind forced me to reflect on my communication skills in a way I rarely ever do.
Of course, there are instances where asking questions and going over what you want to say in your head midconversation is essential, but the key is remembering that sitting in silence is a useful tool when connecting with other people. Talking isn't always the answer.
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