Quarantine has reminded me of those first few months postpartum, with their trademark blend of terror and boredom.
, which comes out this week, there’s a scene where a young musician, Laura, must take care of her infant daughter even though they’re both sick. They’re suffering from an ordinary stomach virus, the kind of thing every parent of young children catches every so often. I had norovirus twice while writing this book, which might explain why its characters are prone to barfing.
To me, the quarantine has felt a lot like early postpartum, with its trademark blend of terror and boredom. For a week in mid-March, my husband and I were sick with flulike symptoms that we now hope were mild COVID-19, so our experience has even had the same physical trajectory as those newborn days: incapacitated first, then recovering, and then just sleep-deprived and damaged and persevering.
I was paying to do this, much more money than I was recouping via my labor. I had the luxury of doing that, of investing in the existence of a future self who would be able to write again, thanks to a lucky confluence of minor windfalls. I don’t take it at all for granted that I could hire a babysitter to take care of our child while I regrew the part of me that could turn words into money. For a long time, though, I didn’t think it was worth it. I thought it was a waste.
Now things are different. Our long-term stability as a family hinges on whether my husband can do the work he needs to do this year in order to keep his salaried job. If there is only enough time for one of us to work, it doesn’t make sense for that person to be me. Once I run out of things I’m contracted or otherwise obligated to do from the before times , I don’t foresee taking on any new work; our kids are too young to be left unattended, even to watch TV for hours.
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