Women fear they may hurt their own children the way they have been hurt. They worry about loving their children adequately when they didn't experience love.
This is the week our society gears up to celebrate mothers and motherhood, and so, brace yourself for the think pieces and explanations from those who are 'child-free by choice' about their choice. As the birth rate declines, we’re hearing a lot from people who have decided not to have kids. Sometimes, it’s because they imagine life is easier or more fun without children . But there’s another troubling excuse that is cropping up, both online and in conversations I’ve had with friends.
As the mother of six children, there’s something about me that leads strangers to bare their souls about their childbearing choices and circumstances. Unsolicited and unprompted, in public and at social events. A rejoinder that I hear frequently is from folks who declined to have children because their own childhood was unstable and/or traumatic.
’m not alone in feeling that way; I heard the same from other mothers from less than ideal family backgrounds. Paige, a mom of three from Minnesota, told me, 'My heart has been put together watching my sweet husband play catch with our kids. Or give piggyback rides. Instant tears. So healing to be able to see what I deserved as a kid but am able to give to my kids instead.
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