This Vogue writer's longest relationship wasn't one at all
is a series about love in all its forms, with new essays appearing until Valentine’s Day.
“No. No. No. No,” my sister and I would chant in unison as we swiped left. Then, he popped up. She yelled, “Yes!” as my finger moved left. But before I could finish the swipe, she plucked the phone from my hands and swiped right on a black-and-white headshot of an admittedly gorgeous face withSo much lived latent in that unassuming swipe: Kisses in the street, how I’d usher in my 22nd year , nights spent crying until I fell asleep because he was gone.
We never planned our in-person reunions ahead of time. He would see from social media that I was in Europe for fashion week or a trip with my family and ask if Paris was in my plans. For a while, I would compare other men to him—faulting them if they lacked his easy intimacy or ready laugh. But by my late twenties, I came to realize that the qualities I admired in him were not the only ones deserving of esteem. I learned to stop looking for him in others.
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