The Keto Diet Crushed My Soul But Taught Me One Good Thing

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The Keto Diet Crushed My Soul But Taught Me One Good Thing
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'It was extreme, socially alienating, and challenged a long-held fear of mine: eating fat.'

with peanut sauce, peppers and tofu with peanut sauce, zucchini and tofu with peanut sauce. I’ve even figured out how to make a mushy yet delicious cauliflower-crusted pizza. And when I’m too tired to cook, there’s always the option of just setting a block of cheese on a plate and going to town. Finally, I have permission to eat what everyone truly wants: literally as much cheese as my stomach will hold down. I feel liberated.

It goes well—until we discover that the cafeteria serves local homemade ice cream. I look on sadly as my new friends load their bowls. “Want some?” someone asks, proffering their bowl. “It’s too cold for ice cream,” I reply, fooling no one. In the meantime, I’m beginning to feel like my sacrifice is for naught. My food pyramid is now more of a blob. I still feel like I’m dragging a toddler by each ankle when I go for a run. I wonder how long you can go without fruit before you get scurvy.

My stomach churns and burns after meals my first week post-keto. I start to worry that I’ve permanently altered my gut’s digestive abilities The thought makes me panic. I see a lifetime flash before my eyes, a future of having to covertly tug at someone’s sleeve at restaurants and gatherings and dinner parties and whisper, “Excuse me, are there carbs in this?” I picture my last meal: my boyfriend spooning soggy cauliflower pizza into my mouth as I lie on my deathbed, too weak to protest.

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