Expect people to test them.
We all need to set boundaries, even in the most structured jobs, because work has its way of encroaching on the rest of our life. Ashley, a senior analyst for the federal government, recently shifted to a schedule that helps her do her most important workhave some alone time before her family gets home. Now she’s trying to figure out how to further minimize interruptions, deal with slow and busy stretches, and get out of unproductive meetings.
I’m looking at my calendar right now for last Thursday, and I attended two meetings in the morning after going to the gym. Then I went actually for a physical therapy appointment and left from that straight to have coffee with a former colleague. Then I came back to my desk and finished up an article that I was writing and had one other meeting before I signed off for the day.
AMY GALLO: Yeah. Well, and what’s interesting about that is that in setting a boundary, like trying to do a four-and-a-half-day work week, you’re also coming up against other boundaries that you need to negotiate and set. I personally find that to be the case most often.
ASHLEY CHAIFETZ: Yeah, so most federal employees have to declare what their schedule is, even though there is quite a bit of flexibility in terms of your start time and your end time.ASHLEY CHAIFETZ: And also, how you organize the 80 hours within your pay period. So, there are basically three different ways that federal employees do this. One, you work an eight-hour day every single day. Two, you work nine hours a day and one eight-hour day. Three, nine hours a day and two half days.
AMY GALLO: So, yeah. How had she sort of shown you previously that she would be supportive of those different schedule options? AMY GALLO: Yeah, I love that . We’ve talked about that before on different episodes, is just if you sort of put out there,, and oftentimes once you’re sort of doing it, then it becomes much more acceptable even if it’s not part of the norm already.
MELODY WILDING: That and I really want to encourage everyone to reframe boundaries that they help you be at your best and your boundaries can also serve other people around you. But when I think about when I’m asked to do things or when someone’s like, “Can we reschedule that meeting?” Even something as simple as that. If they tell me, “My kid’s home sick,” and I’m like, “Oh, of course.” I just sort of… this sort of instinct.MELODY WILDING: And I have a somewhat provocative viewpoint that no is not a complete sentence in the workplace.
And so, one key thing you can do is recreate that transition ritual for yourself. What is sort of your shutdown routine? I have some clients who put a timer on their phone for a certain point in the evening or in their calendar so that it prompts them to start wrapping up for the day instead of getting into this, well, just one more thing, one more email. So, you actually nudge yourself to do that.
ASHLEY CHAIFETZ: Yeah. The government can move fast and slow at the same time, so there’s a lot of hurry up and then wait. And so, we have slow periods. This past summer, I was awaiting a big work project to start. And I was hesitant to take on any other smaller projects because I knew the pace was going to pick up greatly.
So, I would encourage you to think about that, first of all, how you might use the slow time more strategically. Second is to think about for yourself when work starts to pick up again, where can you then draw boundaries as needed? So, for example, Ashley, I don’t think you manage people. Is that right?MELODY WILDING: Okay.
ASHLEY CHAIFETZ: That’s a good question. Honestly, I’m not exactly sure because some of it is like, well, my almost four-year-old will eventually get to be a bigger person and understands that when I’m working, I’m working. But also, I mean, I only see him for so many hours per day. So, I’m also not the saddest when he comes into my office and wants to tell me about whatever he’s working on in the morning.
AMY GALLO: Of course. Yeah. Well, and I think what you first said, Ashley, when you started asking this question about you sort of want to see him—AMY GALLO: —and the interruptions are welcome in some ways and unwelcome in others. As the mom of a 17-year-old, I can say he will totally not do this in a few years. And so, some of it is about also accepting,.
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