A particular vision of what coming out is like now dominates, but for many of us with different cultural backgrounds, the experience is more complex.
Christmas morning. The whole family sits around the tree, opening presents in pyjamas. “Actually, I want to talk to you guys about something…I’m gay.” A pause as everyone takes in his words.
In an effort to unpack my very own mixed feelings towards the concept of coming out and what it means, I recently rewatched, the 1993 romantic comedy directed and co-written by Ang Lee. In this film about a marriage of convenience gone wrong, Wai-Tung, a gay man living in New York City with his partner, decides to appease his traditional Taiwanese parents by marrying a struggling female artist seeking a green card.
The dominant cultural coming out trope is similarly not relatable to several Black LGBTQ+ individuals I spoke to. In fact, a sit-down “coming out conversation” seemed “irrelevant,” according to Christian*, a gay Black man who works in fashion and comes from a very religious family.I balked at the idea of really having to go through something that to me felt traumatic,” he says. “Mine was largely a gradual process rather than a big event where I sat my family down.
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