.feministabulous's “For the Love of Men” advocates for exchanging toxic masculinity for positive masculinity. More from Olas_Truth:
I’ll admit it: I hate men sometimes. This doesn’t mean I’m a bra-burning feminist, angry black woman or misandrist. But I did harbor resentment towards men, stemming from my upbringing as a first generation American with West African roots.
As a kid, when I went to school, I was in America. When I came back, I was in little Lagos. In the kitchen during holidays, aunties would readily joke about cooking for my husband. Gender roles for women were precisely defined. The birth of a male child was celebrated because he could pass the family name down while girls were less valuable.
My disdain for men worsened when I became a motorized wheelchair user at age 20. Prior to that, I walked normally, and no one could tell that I was chronically ill. When my disability became visible, strangely enough, men hit on me more. They weren’t flirting with me because they wanted to be with me, but because I looked like easy prey. Men thought I was more susceptible to manipulation and financial abuse. I was even followed by men when I ignored their advances.
Male pain is a harmful consequence of sexism, and it leads to to shorter life expectancies for men, suicide, racism and poor health. In this way, men and women actually have a lot in common. Toxic masculinity is killing all of us. Toxic masculinity breeds ableism, for example—discrimination and prejudice against people living with disabilities, which I’ve experienced this firsthand. Doctors have unconscious bias and believe racist stereotypes about black people—that we feel
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