The book I read every New Year: Mary Gaitskill led to a relationship I never saw coming ✒️ mattrowlandhill for ipaperviews
A shared enthusiasm for Gaitskill’s writing was one reason my second date with the actor was not our lastMatt Rowland-Hill fell in love with Mary Gaitskill’s work after a date introduced him to it
It was impossible not to notice that the actor I had met from the dating app was strikingly attractive; but within a few minutes of conversation it was evident that she also had an unusually brilliant mind. When we parted ways I was so unable to restrain my enthusiasm that she’d barely walked 30 feet before I texted her to propose a second date.
I needn’t have worried. I read it three times, with growing excitement. In it, a man and a woman – after just one previous meeting – arrange a trip away. They are full of longing and hope, and seem to want the same thing: she wants to be dominated in bed; he wants to dominate. Everything is perfect – until they meet, and their fantasy relationship collides with reality.
But we, Gaitskill’s readers, face no such difficulty, ecstatically submitting to the power of her imagination. It’s delicious to watch the couple’s flirtation descend into farce, but the comedy is balanced by genuine pathos. And Gaitskill is perceptive about how our desires can elude and confound even ourselves. “I’m going to make you do things you don’t want to do,” the man declares. “But I don’t want to do things I don’t want to do,” the woman replies. “You have to make me want them.
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