Marianne Leone's son Jesse died when he was 17. But one night, for a moment, a group of teenage boys 're-illuminated his luster here on earth,' she writes.
We are with the boys who are the boys that our son Jesse would never have been. But they are 17, the same age as he was the year he died, and there is something that brings to mind our son — so different in body, so alike in the yearning, the curiosity, the talent, the vulnerability these boys wear like an upturned collar on a favorite shirt.
We sit in our friends’ comfortable living room and are introduced to the boys, who are all polite and wary. We meet their teacher, too, a Catholic brother. My husband side-eyes me nervously and wonders if I’ll launch into a tirade about my years as a parochial school student suffering the tender mercies of the sisters of St. Joseph, a favorite rant of mine at dinner parties and in print.
His pure light shone through the opaque plastic of his enchanted prince isolette. I wanted to spit at the thought of some priest removing the church’s arcane notion of an original sin from my son’s pure, incandescent being. When the need for palliative spiritual care overwhelms me, I study quantum physics, the secular religion for the grieving unbeliever, and try to understand. I no longer pray to a father god or make the sign of the cross. A religion that eradicates the mother won’t give me back my son. But in our friends’ living room, I bypass these anticlerical thoughts. I’m not here for religious debate with the Catholic brother, who seems very sweet; tonight, we’re audience and mentors to the boys.
France Dernières Nouvelles, France Actualités
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