Taco Bell and Spencer Pratt collaborated on a nacho crystal for Mercury in retrograde
Pratt also offered this statement, as if it explains anything: “Mercury in retrograde is no joke and I do whatever I can to combat those bad vibes from extra quality time with my hummingbirds to cleansing my crystal collection and more. I’ve always been a Taco Bell superfan and was so pumped to team up with Uber Eats and Taco Bell to bring together my two favorite things, Crystals and Nachos.”and is in fact our in-house expert.
, “The falsehoods of the magicians would persuade us that these stones are preventive of inebriety,” and that “if we inscribe the names of the sun and moon upon this stone, and then wear it suspended from the neck, with some hair of [a baboon] and feathers of the swallow, it will act as a preservative against all noxious spells.
Also, consider the shape of the nacho-thyst: A triangle, the sturdiest, most balanced shape of all geometry, serving to further concentrate and solidify amethyst’s balancing powers. This is replicated in the nachos themselves, which are both composed of many triangle chips and layered with sour cream, cheese, and ground beef in, dare I say, a delicate flavor balance? And that the RetroGrande Nachos are free with a $12 purchase...
As a member of the press looking to do my due diligence to journalism AND mysticism, I requested the Taco Bell amethyst ten days ago and it still has not arrived for me to see how balancing it is for myself. What I do feel confident in, however, is that Taco Bell certainly thought about everything detailed above and didn’t just jump on the flimsy pun “RetroGrande.” Anyway, I hope my crystal arrives soon and I’m looking forward to figuring out which of my chakras is aligned with nachos.
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