In an excerpt from a new book, the journalist details the racist incidents at MTV News that shaped her early career and how she's only recently been able to dismantle that trauma.
SuChin Pak, 45, has spent more than two decades in the spotlight, which also means, as an Asian American, she's faced nearly as much time battling racism in the public sphere—most notably during her tenure as an MTV News reporter in the early '00s. In the foreword of the new book,, Pak details those devastating early years in front of the camera, and how
When I was a teenager, courage basically meant never saying no. It meant never wanting to miss out on an opportunity and saying yes to things that felt bigger than my own small world. As a high school junior, I said yes to an offer to host a weekly teen show that aired on my local news channel, not knowing then that this would be the biggest turning point of my life.
A couple of years into my time at MTV, my feelings of unworthiness gave way to anger. I was angry all the time—I tried so damn hard to be good, to follow the rules, and none of it seemed to make a difference. Every day I was on air felt like an audition. And everything I did—my mannerisms, what I wore, how my hair was done—was scrutinized by the executives. I constantly felt like I was on borrowed time, that they would replace me the moment they found a better person to fill my seat.
France Dernières Nouvelles, France Actualités
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