Savage Love: Wanting an open relationships when your partner does not
I've been in a committed relationship for ten years — committed because my boyfriend wants it that way. I'd be fine with an open relationship and have asked about it. He's made it quite clear that he thinks it's"wrong." I'm almost never at his apartment. He doesn't invite me, and my place is a lot more comfortable anyway. His place never looks"lived in." Everything must be tidy and"just so." Bed made, bathroom spotless, no socks on the floor.
But if you want to stay with him, FIB, you might wanna lead with that. You can regard what you found when you were looking for supplies — not snooping, of course, never snooping — as an unforgivable betrayal, FIB, or you can regard it as an opportunity to renegotiate the terms of your relationship. My wife and I have been together for eight years, married for four. Before we dated, I was honest with her about the fact that I could not offer long-term sexual monogamy in a relationship. She told me she understood and would be into participating in that with me. We stayed monogamous for a few years before attempting to introduce non-monogamous adventures into our life.
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