Perspective: On Mother’s Day, my daughter was 10 weeks old, and my mom had 3 weeks to live. How do you mark an occasion that celebrates the very relationship you are about to lose?
By Caitlin Gibson Caitlin Gibson Feature writer Email Bio Follow Reporter May 10 at 9:00 AM On an overcast Tuesday last May, my mother left her final appointment with her oncologist and gripped my father’s hand through the long drive home. After more than two years of breast cancer treatment, there would be no more infusions, no more scans. She had less than three weeks to live. My daughter, my mom’s first grandchild, was barely 10 weeks old.
The day of my baby shower had been the last hopeful day of my mother’s life. She was overjoyed to celebrate the imminent addition to our family and spent an unseasonably warm January afternoon chatting with friends and family, posing for photographs in the sunny backyard. In those images she is radiant, her illness invisible.
We speak of birth as an arrival, because of course it is; a new soul joins us in the world. But later, when I described what it was like — that astonishing moment in the operating room when the weight of my daughter pulled free of me, when the presence I had carried for so long was lifted away and I was suddenly alone in my body again — I said: I felt her leave. The beginning of life, too, is separation.
I willed myself to remember everything, struggling to absorb every detail through the haze of post-op narcotics and postpartum delirium. I kept reaching for my phone, taking grainy, poorly focused pictures of my mother and daughter in their first moments together. I tried to memorize the curve of my mother’s hand cupping the weight of my infant child.Before she left, my mom came to my bedside, bending down with great effort to kiss my face. “How are you, sweetie pie?” she asked me.
I was always meant to lose my mother, I knew. Children should outlive their parents; the alternative is the true tragedy. I was paralyzed by the disconnect between my own reproachful thoughts — you’re still luckier than most — and my shattered insides.
France Dernières Nouvelles, France Actualités
Similar News:Vous pouvez également lire des articles d'actualité similaires à celui-ci que nous avons collectés auprès d'autres sources d'information.
10 unique Mother’s Day gifts under $20 — that your mom will actually likeHere are the top 10 best Mother’s Day gift ideas that will arrive in time for May 12th
Lire la suite »
Mother's Day is just a week away — save 40% on flowers with your Chase credit cardSave 40% on flowers for Mother's Day when you check out with Chase Pay at 1800Flowers.com/ChasePay40 and use the promo code.
Lire la suite »
Celebrate every type of mom this Mother’s Day with these 7 special recipesMoms are special, so we pulled some recipes you can make just for her.
Lire la suite »
Mother's Day Protest: Activists to make bail payments for 100 African American momsThis is the third year that, just ahead of Mother's Day, a number of caregivers will be surprised and have their bail paid by a project called 'Black Mamas Bail Out.'
Lire la suite »
Our Favorite Mom-Owned Brands To Support On Mother's DayWe have conducted thorough research and curated a list of mom-owned brands and designers to support this Mother's Day. We also list several popular items available for purchase from each brand all under $600.
Lire la suite »
This is how I’m facing Mother’s Day without my momAvoid email promos and stay off social media — but still honor her in some way, say counselors and other women grieving the loss of their mothers.
Lire la suite »
7 memoirs about moms to read this Mother's DayFor Mother's Day this year, consider reading one of these memoirs about the joyful and not-so-joyful sides of motherhood.
Lire la suite »
Mother's Day Gift Guide: The 10 Best Places For A BabymoonFor a relaxing/romantic break before they become parents, here are suggestions around the world for a babymoon.
Lire la suite »