Perspective: In the “short window we have for our families to be together” at their annual beach vacation, one sister wants to bring in her friends from home.
My sister mentioned that she wanted her best friend to come for a night. I said sure — it will be my sister’s birthday that night as well, and we have one extra bedroom. Then she mentioned that it’s actually her best friend plus the friend’s college friend and his daughter, who are going through some sort of tough time. When I said we wouldn’t have enough bedrooms, she said her best friend planned to camp on the lawn.
I’m rambling here. Can you help me sort my feelings? I’m sure there’s something I’m ridiculously non-self-aware about here.No, I think you have a decent handle on your various resentments, plus all the evidence you need to justify them. Your sister is asking a lot. So have a good hard grump about it with a favored confidant who is not your sister.Second, it’s your sister’s birthday.
Fifth, let’s talk about we-do-this-every-year traditions. They are the best. Usually. But they can snap under the weight of change if you aren’t ready to be flexible. With kids in college, you’re already near the end of an era. The next era will likely bring all kinds of non-immediate-family extras and walk-ons from your kids’ increasingly independent lives, some you won’t know before and won’t ever see again after the week is over.
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