Carolyn Hax: Boyfriend keeps borrowing money, and she feels mostly alone
But I’m finding myself resentful as I feel as if he’s not bringing the non-monetary equivalent to the relationship, and it makes me worry I’m being taken advantage of and am too stupid to notice. But we’re also living in weird times, and maybe the reasons we aren’t seeing each other as much as I would like are real and justified.I am having a difficult time articulating all this, though, because when I hear the words in my head it sounds like I’m arguing that I’ve paid up and he now owes me.
If one person leaves all the work to the other person to go off and play, then that’s not being present or thoughtful.If one person makes huge amounts of money and uses that as justification to assign all menial chores to the other person, then that’s not being present or thoughtful.If one person shares expenses diligently but saves the best of their time and attention for people or pursuits or purposes outside the relationship, then that’s not being present or thoughtful.
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