“We’ve been married 12 years now.”
"I pulled a knife on my first date with a dude. It was our first date after meeting online, so I brought a pocket knife. Unfortunately, the only spot to keep it was in the waistband of my jeans in the middle of my back. It was digging into me, so I kept messing with it. He finally said, 'Damn girl, are you scratching your ass, or are you hiding a knife?'. I said 'Funny you should ask,' and I pulled it out, still folded.
"Shortly after we became officially girlfriends, my girlfriend was leaving my apartment after an awesome date and asked when my schedule was open for a repeat. I, very smoothly, of course, blurted out, 'My schedule currently revolves around the fact that I’m so into you it’s scary.' She did not leave me. I apologized like seven times while she laughed.
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