Our Dreams Are Surprisingly Friendly

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Our Dreams Are Surprisingly Friendly
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What our dreams can tell us about our friendships

provide evidence of our friendly, prosocial instincts.

Not everyone has this much friendliness in their dreams. The “Natural Scientist,” whose 1939 journal of 234 dreams was analyzed by J. Allan Hobson in, had friendly interactions in 24 percent of his dreams. This lower rate may reflect the limited social contacts in his waking life . His figures may also reflect the continuity principle of dreaming, which is that the frequency of an element in dreaming reflects the emotional importance of that element in the individual’s waking life.

Not surprisingly, nightmares tend to have low frequencies of friendliness. In a survey asking several thousand people to describe their “worst nightmare,” only 8 percent of the reports of 15 or more words had a reference to friendliness. Similarly, in surveys asking people about their dreams of work, just 8 percent have a reference to friendliness.

First, you can learn about the depth and quality of your relationships with your friends by considering who does and doesn’t appear in your dreams, and how you interact with them when they do appear. For example, you can observe the patterns of who in your dreams initiates a friendly act, versus who receives the friendly act.

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