Dear How to Do It: How do I leave this loop?
As with any sexual interaction where we’re getting close to our boundaries, safewords are a great idea. You’ll want verbal and non-verbal options. For some this means “stop,” “red,” or going silent For others, who play with nonconsent or simply like to be creative, this can be any word that wouldn’t typically be said during the course of sex like “pineapple” or “bicycle.
You and your partner seem like you’re in a wonderful place to begin exploring sexual contact for intimacy together. There’s a lot of care in your letter. You’ve got this.My partner and I are in our 30s and have been trying to have kids for a while. We’re dealing with fertility issues and things have gotten very clinical, to the point where we don’t even have sex anymore. When it’s baby-making time, he masturbates and I just hop on for the big finish. I miss having sex just for fun and pleasure.
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