You'll end up regretting it.
Pent-up feelings of anger, sadness, and disappointment can easily devolve into a blame game."Blame is not healthy," says, MSW."We can feel it and process it, but acting it out in the breakup process allows us to build resentment and avoid personal responsibility."
Participating in a blame game might not only hurt your partner—it could also negatively impact the way you grieve the relationship."Blame leads to giving away our personal power and sense of choice," says Heller."It gives our power to others." By accepting responsibility, you'll feel more in control of the situation and future ones like it.Avoiding blame doesn't mean leaving your partner in the dark about your reasons for the split.
The clearer you can be in this scenario, the better."Saying, 'Our values don't seem to be aligning,' 'I can't support the decisions you're making,' or 'I'm feeling too betrayed/hurt/disconnected to move past this,' communicates that you're not okay with what they've done without positing them as a 'bad person' and you as a 'good person.
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