CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—Succumbing before the launch even took place to a sudden and mysterious onset of what is being described as space madness, NASA astronauts reportedly went insane Thursday and killed each other immediately upon entering their rocket. According to sources, mere moments after stepping foot in the Orion…
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL—Succumbing before the launch even took place to a sudden and mysterious onset of what is being described as space madness, NASA astronauts reportedly went insane Thursday and killed each other immediately upon entering their rocket.
Reports confirmed that in the midst of what appeared to be a complete psychotic break, Flight Engineer Finn Hargrave stripped off his space suit, smeared a thick layer of his own excrement all over his body, and declared himself to be “Commander Space God.” He is then said to have blown his fellow crew members’ brains out with a flare gun before announcing he would save humanity by single-handedly repopulating the space capsule.
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