'As I doggedly chased the untold and complex narratives of women’s lived experiences, my own mother withered away.'
The author's mother, Pam , hitchhikes with a college friend in Europe in the early '70s.I realized that there was something “wrong” with my mother around the age of 12, something I knew had to do with alcohol.
In my early childhood memories, I had two loving parents who were endlessly committed to their three children — two boys and a girl in the middle. We lived in exciting places. I spent my first two years of life in Mauritania. My baby brother was born in the Philippines. We moved every three to four years, and my mother was, according to peers, the “quintessential expat.”
Growing up, my mother was there physically. She attended every recital, choir concert, play, softball game. She was there when I got home from school, asking me how my day had gone. She stayed up and waited for me when I was out with friends on weekends. As such, it never occurred to me that I was experiencing an absence. I knew I was angry with her. It is only now that I realize my anger was concealing another feeling, one akin to grief. I was actively missing my living mother.
I had laid out a large poster board collage that boasted pictures spanning the past three decades. Mum was perched on a picnic bench, her face inches from the tabletop, staring at her life in images, forever adjacent to — or in the background of — the man she married.
France Dernières Nouvelles, France Actualités
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