Dear Care and Feeding: I know my mother would make an incredible grandmother.
No one is “entitled” to be a grandparent . When we have kids, we roll the dice, we take our chances—about all kinds of things. Our children are not vessels for our hopes and dreams, our mini-me’s,our conduits to grandchildren. If someone who would enjoy being a grandparent doesn’t end up with any grandchildren, they find other ways to be involved in the lives of children: they become an exceptionally devoted aunt or great-aunt . You don’tyour mother grandchildren.
And while guilt itself guilt can be a useful emotion when we’ve done something wrong, motivating us to apologize and to make things right, it is maladaptive when we experience it over something that is not our “fault.” I can’t tell you how to get over it , but I can tell you have got to find a way to let it go. You have a life to live, so get on with it.My husband and I have always been fairly fashionable and work in fields that reflect that.
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