'When my daughter is overwhelmed with anger or frustration – what we call emotional flooding – I take extra care to let her know she is loved with these strategies.'
take me by surprise every time. I used to try to end the extreme outbursts by talking, arguing, and even screaming through them. Of course, that only prolonged the flood.I now know she really couldn’t hear my logic during that time… but she could certainly hear my anger. And that only fed the flood.
Gradually – oh, so gradually – she understood I was serious. And her brain mercifully allowed the waters to recede quicker during each flood. Will she understand that my hands are tied? That I literally can’t do anything without propelling her into a deeper fury? During the happy times, my job is to caulk any leaks; to batten down the hatches; to give her solid footing that can better withstand a flood. Here’s how I think about doing that.• She and I picked the number 10 as a daily hug goal. As we have fun reaching that number each day – getting sillier with every hug – I hope all my deposits into the bank of security and warmth will supersede any flood damage.
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