SOCORRO, NM—Initiating emergency procedures and sealing security doors throughout the complex, scientists at Monsanto reportedly placed the agrochemical company’s main laboratory on lockdown Thursday after discovering a shattered, empty tomato containment unit.
According to sources onsite, technicians arrived at the lab’s secure vegetable isolation chamber at 8 a.m. to find the room’s armed guards lying dead on the floor next to what remained of Specimen 323-A’s 6-inch-thick tempered-glass container, which appeared to have been ruptured from the inside.
Officials would not confirm how many employees had been killed, but acknowledged the released tomato variety remained at large within the sprawling crop development facility. “We have suffered a Code 9 containment breach,” said head biotechnologist Stewart Klein, explaining that he had used a dedicated emergency line to contact Monsanto headquarters in St. Louis, which immediately sent back a directive ordering all laboratory personnel to shelter in place until further notice. “As of now, we’ve sealed off all stairwells below subbasement 12, but this hardy, disease-resistant tomato appears to have overridden all of our fail-safe backup protocols.
The rogue produce has since found its way into the facility’s germination module, according to reports, where it is believed to have consumed dozens of experimental fertilizers and a generous supply of mulch, possibly attempting to increase its size, strength, and shelf life.
In their desperate attempts to regain control of the escaped specimen, Monsanto officials told reporters they were trying to track down any surviving scientists from the ConAgra Disaster of 1994, in which a genetically modified variety of wild rice was inadvertently crossbred with a fast-growing form of sweet corn, with the resulting hybrid quickly bursting out of its greenhouse and overrunning a 3,000-acre stretch of central Nebraska, leaving 11 dead and causing more than $90 million in...
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