A letter writer wonders what subjects are off-limits for social situations.
The old rule was that politics, sex and religion should not be discussed in casual conversation among people whose sensitivities and opinions were unknown to one another. The rationale was to avoid offending anyone unintentionally. This rule fell into disuse — and ridicule from some, who responded, “So, we are only supposed to talk about the weather?” They would argue that those three subjects are important, and that people can be trusted to handle them in a mature way. Ha.
Now, almost any topic causes offense. Politics, of course. Sex, not because people are squeamish , but in regard to issues of orientation and identity. Religion, not only because it is intertwined with politics and sex, but also as an identity issue. But those three are not all. Food, for example, has become a controversial subject in terms of both nutrition and ethics. As for the weather being the only “safe” topic left — not if the conversation turns to climate change.
Miss Manners regrets to observe that the usual current method of pointing out others’ errors is to belittle them. And oddly enough, this does not prod them to respond, “Wait, you have a point. I am totally wrong. Please straighten me out.”Miss Manners does not want to limit topics; she just wants to limit the way they are discussed.
I don’t feel as though I should be subject to these uncomfortable and definitely unwanted encounters, nor do I have any feelings of love for these individuals. Is there a polite way to avoid the physical contact and the “I love you,” which I have no response for at all?escape a hug in public without inspiring passersby to call the police. But just as you do not echo the declaration of love, you need not cooperate with the hug. Just let your arms remain at your side, Miss Manners suggests.
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