Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
My twin sister and I got shower invitations that we don’t understand. It’s for a close friend of ours from high school who just got engaged, and the hostess is another friend of hers we don’t know very well.We’ve never heard of such a thing. Does this mean she only wants cash? The couple are very well-off, much more than either of us.
Yet apparently some people really are tired of the present-gouging routine, which has become meaningless. Now and then, a host will issue instructions that guests should not bring presents to the celebration of a birthday, graduation or wedding. And they actually mean it; it is not a way to collect money instead of goods.
The catch was having to think. And possibly to guess wrong. Everyone has stories of the present that failed. But this came with a different catch. Instead of “I understand you,” this practice says, “I have your shopping list.” What is the pleasure in giving or receiving if the sentiment has been removed?
France Dernières Nouvelles, France Actualités
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