Which was worse, my sister’s faux pas or their snooty reaction?
Some years later, after we were grown — and after having slowly grown apart from this aunt, as well as from another aunt and cousin — my sister decided to invite them over to her home for dinner. It was a small gathering. They arrived two hours early, taking my sister off guard, but she said nothing.
During the course of small talk, while waiting for the meal to finish cooking, they commented on a liqueur bottle on a shelf. My sister enthusiastically offered them a sip and poured the servings into appropriate liqueur glasses. While sipping the liqueur, one aunt, frowning seriously, commented that this beverage really should not have been offered untilLater, the subject of a famous family from the Italian Renaissance came up.
When dinner was being served, my cousin mentioned that she was quite scared to drive through our town as she thought she was being “followed by gang members,” and that some people she knows thought that where we live is a “ghetto.” Our cousin also commented on how “comfy and lived-in” the home is, and how charming she found the mismatched furniture.
Who is more guilty of a rude, offensive social gaffe? The one serving guests an after-dinner drink before dinner, or the ones arriving two hours early, correcting another guest’s grammar and insulting the host’s home and neighborhood?It would be difficult for anyone with normal powers of observation to believe that there is a link between having money and behaving well. So let’s not start class warfare here.
Besides, they are your own relatives. And while they are no longer exemplars of good manners, they are used to thinking of you as a child in need of instruction. If you cannot bring yourself to find this amusing, Miss Manners suggests gently reminding them that you are now grown up and responsible for your own behavior.
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