DEAR MISS MANNERS: I would like to point out something that happens quite frequently to me, and to other people I have seen, with hurtful results.
I was often told by family members and acquaintances that I bore a striking resemblance to a famous actor. Unfortunately, this is an actor who is not known for being handsome, but rather odd-looking and decidedly unattractive. No one ever stopped to think that this was boorish and thoughtless. Eventually, I drastically changed my hairstyle and grew facial hair in an attempt to change my appearance.
In the past, I have only mentioned to people that they bore a resemblance to a famous person when the celebrity in question was generally acknowledged as physically attractive -- and also that the person I was complimenting needed a self-esteem boost. I would never tell anyone that they resembled someone who was widely known for their lack of physical attributes.
How about, instead, we all stop making comparisons and commenting on people’s looks altogether? It only gets one in trouble. Unless someone would like to assert that Miss Manners resembles Olympe de Gouges. In which case, she graciously accepts the compliment.DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a colleague who continues to forget my name and who I am, especially when we are in a large group situation.
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