Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
I have a small house, and my adult son asked me to host his son’s birthday party. He invited 14 guests, not including several young children. It was a bit chaotic, but still, conversations could be heard.
When my sister and her husband arrived, she quickly grabbed the television remote and put on sports. I was extremely annoyed but chose not to create a scene. When it was time for the birthday cake, I asked her to turn the TV off.GENTLE READER:I was in a store the other day and wanted to catch the attention of a worker who was down the aisle from me and walking away.
Before I became aware of the pain caused by misgendering people, I probably would’ve just called out, “Excuse me, sir?” Now I want to do better, but there seems to be no way to call out to someone whose gender is unknown. “Excuse me, person?” or “friend?” Both sound absurd.ADVERTISEMENTJust “excuse me” is fine. As these workers are in the service industry, they are already on alert that their help may be required. Miss Manners suggests you simply repeat as necessary.
What is the etiquette for enjoying the last sips of your drink without that giant ice cube sliding down and bonking you on the nose?Place a subtle forefinger on the offending cube, whilst clasping the rest of the glass with the thumb and middle. Miss Manners cannot entirely guarantee, however, that your finger will not bonk your nose instead -- particularly after the second or third old-fashioned.I often receive gifts that creep me out -- namely, gnomes and figurines.
Being a polite person, I am sure that I expressed my thanks when I received these things the first time. But now, years later, I am still creeped out, and I still receive them. My friends have never seen any of the items they gave me displayed in my home.And yet one must. But you may take comfort in knowing that someone, somewhere, is building a well-loved collection of creepy trinkets. Miss Manners suggests you continue to feign gratitude on their behalf, if not your own.
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